Never Knew Love Could Be Like This
by The Geeky Saxophonist
Summary: Oreldo and Martis must go undercover as members of the nobility to infiltrate a ball to learn more about the Silver Wheel. But there's a catch that makes things awkward for them, to say the least. Silly, fluffy OreldoxMartis with dashes of RandelxAlice!
1. Chapter 1: Dude Looks Like A Lady

**Author's Notes!** Hello everyone! This story is based on a crazy idea I had one night and I just had to write it. It actually started as a serious idea, but then I realized that there was just no way possible to write this scenario without humor! I apologize for the slashiness, but I simply love the Oreldo X Martis pairing (although it's my second favorite pairing in Pumpkin Scissors after Randel X Alice). Thanks to my awesome friend TwilightStar7 for help with the story and laughing hysterically with me about the frightening drawings that were made and ideas discussed! I hope you enjoy the story!

**Never Knew Love Could Be Like This  
>A Pumpkin Scissors Fanfic<br>**

**CHAPTER 1:**_ Dude Looks Like A Lady_

"Oreldo… I… I _swear_ I'm going to kill you!" the normally calm and level-headed Martis exploded.

"It wasn't my idea!" Oreldo exclaimed, raising his hands defensively. Despite his small frame, Martis knew how to easily throw a man much bigger than himself to the ground, and it looked like the blonde sub-lieutenant was in danger of being attacked. "It was the LT's! Her and the captain! I knew nothing about it, I swear!"

Martis scowled and crossed his arms, staring at the girl standing before him. She had short, black hair, arranged in a simple updo with a flower tucked in the top; large lavender eyes; and clad in an elegant lilac dress with long, white gloves. The black-haired sub-lieutenant shook his head in disbelief and the girl did the same.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Martis sighed dejectedly, awkwardly smoothing the dress. The dress that was on _his_ body. How had he, of all people, gotten in to this…?

_-2 weeks earlier, 10:40 hours, Section III (aka Pumpkin Scissors)'s Office- _

"We have to do _what?_"

The surprised shout rang loudly through the office, startling Sergeant Major Lily Stecchin and nearly causing her to spill the captain's coffee all over Mercury and a stack of completed paperwork. Curious, she began listening in on the conversation.

Captain Hunks glanced up from his newspaper at Sub-Lieutenants Oreldo and Martis standing before his desk, each with a firm grip on the paper detailing their assignment. "You read the assignment, didn't you? We've got information that members of the Silver Wheel will definitely be attending this event, and we need you to go undercover to find out for sure if Lionel Taylor is indeed part of their organization."

"But… a _ball_? Why us?" Martis inquired, rather confused by the captain's choice of personnel for this mission.

"Yeah, why not send the lieutenant? She's a noble and all," Oreldo added, "Plus, I don't think the big guy would mind goin' with her if she needed a bodyguard and all," he added, with a knowing grin. Stecchin giggled quietly as she set the coffee down on Hunks' desk before returning to her work. Pretty much everyone in Army Intelligence could tell how smitten Randel and Alice were with one another.

"They'd stand out too much. We're going for a covert mission, here," Hunks replied, sipping the coffee. "After the incident at the ball two months ago, every noble in this side of the empire knows who Corporal Oland is. He's a little too… distinctive looking to effectively disguise." That was true. It wasn't easy, if at all possible, to make a giant, seven-and-a-half foot tall and visibly scarred man look like an average person. "And for the lieutenant, everyone knows who she is; being part of one of the Thirteen Grand Houses of the Empire and all. There's no way she'd be able to get any information about the Silver Wheel out of anyone, especially pertaining to Lionel. Hell, it'd put her life in danger."

"And what about _ours_?" Oreldo asked with a wide-eyed, incredulous expression.

Martis sighed. "Did you even read the whole assignment?" He pointed out a section of text. "Look, here it says we'd be in disguise under fake names. No one there will know who we actually are," he explained. "…hopefully…" the sub-lieutenant added under his breath.

"Exactly," Hunks nodded, affirming what Martis had said. "Lord Schultz is also taking part of this mission." Oreldo raised a skeptical eyebrow upon hearing the name of the seemingly-ditzy nobleman still vying for Alice's affections. "He'll help you maintain your disguises as members of the nobility and further help with uncovering information about the Silver Wheel."

"Lord Schultz? Seriously?" the blonde sub-lieutenant exclaimed.

"We should at least be happy we'll _have_ an ally there," his fellow sub-lieutenant rebuked. Martis turned back to the captain. "How exactly are we going to get the things we need to be disguised?" he asked, after skimming the paper again to make sure he hadn't missed that information. "It would take Oreldo and I's combined paychecks for at least a year to buy anything suitable for just one of us!"

"That's why we're getting help from the Malvins," Hunks said, flicking ash out of his pipe. "Alice's older sisters have offered to help you prepare."

Oreldo's expression progressively showed more and more confusion at each new fact about the mission. "How come all of these noble are actually workin' with us? Did they suddenly get inspired to actually help the army or somethin'?"

Martis sighed in frustration while shaking his head. "Oreldo…"

The captain narrowed his eyes, his voice dead serious. "If the lieutenant's fiancé is indeed part of the Silver Wheel, she could be in danger, as well as her family, and the _members of this unit_." Oreldo blinked in surprise and glanced, wide-eyed, at the equally concerned Martis. "And who know who else the Silver Wheel may be a part of?" Hunks continued. "We know they had interactions with the Waterworks. They may even be interacting with our government, our army, even with the Republic. Finding out if Lionel Taylor is part of the Silver Wheel will be a valuable lead."

"Well…damn," breathed Oreldo.

"Any more questions?" Hunks asked, the serious tone of voice dissipating back into its normal lazy drawl.

"Uh, no sir," Oreldo stammered, and Martis nodded in agreement.

"Then you're dismissed." Already the captain had raised his newspaper again, before the sub-lieutenants had even saluted their superior officer.

"Oh my god, Martis, what the hell are we gettin' in to?" Oreldo whispered as soon they were out of the captain's earshot and back at their desks. He was slightly surprised to see that the smaller sub-lieutenant didn't seem all too rattled.

"It's just another mission, really," Martis shrugged, "Putting ourselves in any situation necessary or even the face of danger for our country's sake is our job. That's why we joined the army."

Oreldo laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, and Martis sighed in frustration once again. "Right, you joined for the free food. Oh, for heaven's sake, Oreldo…"

The blonde sub-lieutenant gave a charming, crooked grin and shrugged. "You got me there, four eyes." Oreldo leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands behind his head. "Well, I guess this isn't as bad as having to take on a tank. Just now we may possibly have the fate of the entire Empire on our hands…." He looked over at Martis. "No pressure, right?"

"None at all," the black-haired sub-lieutenant sighed, turning his attention back to the paperwork he'd started earlier. Yet Oreldo's remark rang in his head… what _were_ they getting in to?

_Well, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there,_ Martis thought. _I mean, how dangerous could infiltrating a ball be?_ He smiled slightly to himself and returned to his work.


	2. Chapter 2: Au Contraire

**CHAPTER 2: **_Au Contraire_

The first week and a half after receiving the mission went pretty normally for the Pumpkin Scissors. Martis kept himself busy with paperwork and Oreldo slacked as usual, with the unit running the occasional soup kitchen or two.

However, Martis had noticed the captain, lieutenant, and corporal looking at him sometimes, trying to hold back amused smiles. The sub-lieutenant tried to ignore the strange behavior, but a nagging voice in the back of his head told him they were up to something. Soon, he dismissed it. If the Pumpkin Scissors _were_ up to something, Oreldo wouldn't be able to stop smirking, and the blonde sub-lieutenant wasn't acting suspicious at all. In fact, he continued to act like his lazy self right up to the day of the ball, which fully quelled Martis' suspicions.

The day before, the captain gave the unit their instructions for the next day: They were to report to the Malvin estate by 12:00 hours (to allow for a good night's sleep—balls were tiring, the lieutenant had said) in civilian clothes for preparation for the ball and further instructions for the night. The corporal would accompany the sub-lieutenants to the ball but stay around the perimeter in case anything went wrong, while Alice was to remain at her home.

"Hey, what can go wrong? This sounds like it'll be a piece of cake," Oreldo optimistically said with a friendly nudge to Martis on their way home after work.

Time seemed to pass quickly that night. Martis felt like he'd only slept for a blink of an eye when really, he'd gotten three extra hours. He prepared himself quickly while Oreldo took his sweet time getting out of bed. It was really a miracle that the sub-lieutenants had managed to make it to the Malvin estate on time.

Halfway through town they met up with Randel, who was just finishing feeding his large swarm of cats. The giant corporal was acting shyer than ever. He seemed to shrink with every step closer they got to the lieutenant's house. At one point Randel even stopped at a patch of flowers alongside the road and murmured to himself, "Should I bring her some flowers? No, she has a fiancé… that'd be wrong…"

"I bet facing an entire unit of tanks would be easier for the big guy than visiting the LT's house, huh," Oreldo whispered to Martis. He laughed quietly in agreement.

A servant met them on the front walk when they arrived at the estate and showed them inside.

"Lady Alice will join you in a moment," he said, "Please wait here."

The Pumpkin Scissors' second lieutenant had a _gorgeous _house, to say the least. But it was expected, with her status as a noble and one of her caliber. Martis looked around in awe. Never before had he seen such a well-furnished house, or mansion, rather. Behind them was a massive oak door and before them was a grand staircase, branching apart into two separate stairways with candelabras adorning the banisters. The stairways rejoined at the bottom, where it was decorated with twin statues topped with pots overflowing with leafy plants. The walls were pale green in color with white edging around the base. To both sides, giant arches led into wide hallways. To top it off, the ceiling seemed almost as tall as the sky. It made his and Oreldo's little apartment seem like a tiny old run-down shack. And this was only the foyer!

The black-haired sub-lieutenant looked over at Oreldo and Randel to see if they too were admiring the house. The corporal was and appeared to be rather daunted, but the other sub-lieutenant was instead checking out the maid cleaning the banister of the staircase. _Why am I not surprised,_ Martis thought.

"Hello…" The lieutenant walked in almost shyly—very unlike her normal, bold disposition. Perhaps it was because she wasn't used to seeing the members of Pumpkin Scissors in her house, or that she was wearing a simple light-blue dress instead of a military uniform. Said dress was nowhere near as ornate the dress she'd worn to (and destroyed at) the ball, but it still very lovely, and not to mention quite a change from her normal orange uniform. Randel even flushed and almost seemed to go into shock at the sight.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," greeted Oreldo, saluting along with Martis while elbowing Randel to bring him back to reality.

"Ah, good morning ma'am!" the red-faced corporal exclaimed.

"Thanks for being on time, for once—" Alice directed the last two words at the perpetually-late Oreldo with a fiery glance. "I hope you had no trouble finding my house. We'll go over the full mission plan and your aliases once you're ready for tonight," she explained, "Lord Schultz and his younger sister will be here for that as well so we don't have to go over everything twice. My sisters will be ready in a minute. Sub-Lieutenant Oreldo, don't you even _think_ of making a move on them! They're both married," she added, jabbing an accusing finger at Oreldo's chest.

"Ah, yes ma'am! Wouldn't dare to do such a thing ma'am!" the sub-lieutenant stammered in reply, adding a salute for good measure. Martis and Randel exchanged a knowing glance. That was exactly what the flirtatious sub-lieutenant was thinking. "What about the maids—"

Alice's venomous stare silenced him quickly.

"_There you are!_"

The sudden and frighteningly loud shout from behind him caused Martis to startle and nearly scream. He turned around just in time to see Alice's blonde sister, Elis, grab him by the arm and begin dragging him off.

"You're coming with me, young man," she said tersely. "Come on now, don't drag your feet, there's a lot to be done before tonight!" Before Martis had a grasp on what was going on, Elis had already managed to pull the unsuspecting sub-lieutenant halfway up the stairs.

"Have fun, four eyes!" Oreldo jokingly called out to Martis. His friend had his free arm extended in a "please help me" kind of gesture as Elis took him away to places unknown.

Alice began giggling in the most uncharacteristic and almost Stecchin-like manner, accompanied by a stifled laugh from Randel. Perplexed by this reaction, Oreldo looked over to see what was so funny.

"Sorry. It's nothing," the lieutenant said unconvincingly. The corporal had also failed to hide his amusement.

_Hm. That's odd, _Oreldo thought. _Must be an inside joke or something_.

He dismissed Alice and Randel's strange behavior as a side effect of being in love.


	3. Chapter 3: No One Knows My Plan

**CHAPTER 3:** _No One Knows My Plan_

Martis was undoubtedly confused and even a bit nervous. Not only was the Malvin's mansion daunting to a commoner like himself, but he didn't like how Elis was eyeing him with an amused smirk on her face. He shifted uncomfortably. The blond noblewoman seemed to be scrutinizing his appearance. It was unsettling, to say the least.

"Hm… not _too_ bad…. You'll do, I suppose," she nodded, talking partly to herself. Then aloud to Martis, she said, "First, we'll get you dressed and ready, then we're going to go over basic etiquette and behavior for balls, since you've probably never been to one before."

"Sounds fine," the sub-lieutenant nodded in affirmation. He had a vague idea of what to expect at a ball, but it'd be better if he had some help from an actual noble.

"Alright. How well can you see without your glasses?" the Elis demanded in a tone identical to Alice's when she meant business.

"Um… not too well. I mean, I can see where I'm going but I can't read or judge distance very well," Martis stammered.

"But you _can_ see, right?" Elis insisted.

"Well, kind of—"

"Good enough," she said and snatched away the sub-lieutenant's round-framed glasses.

Martis blinked in shock. "Hey! Wh-what are you doing?"

"How many fingers am I holding up?" the noble asked, jabbing three raised fingers in the air.

"Um, three. But—"

"Good enough," Elis broke in.

"But I told you, I can't read or—"

"You don't need to _read_ anything at a ball," Elis said. "You're not wearing these tonight, and that's final. No noble would wear anything _this_ unfashionable, anyways."

Martis sighed shortly and jutted out his lip in a pout. _I thought they looked fine_, he thought. "Just be careful with them, okay? I don't have enough to pay for a new pair at the moment!"

Through squinted eyes, he cautiously watched for the noblewoman's next move. Her sudden appearance right in front of his face startled him.

"Hm. When's the last time you shaved?"

The bizarre question further startled the sub-lieutenant. He hadn't been with Elis for more than ten minutes yet and he was already feeling a sense of oncoming dread.

"Excuse me?" Martis exclaimed in a voice edged with incredulity.

"Shave. You know, to get the hair off of you face?" Elis sounded sarcastic.

The confused sub-lieutenant tilted his head. "This morning." He blinked quizzically. "Why do you want to know?"

"Oh, no reason," she replied, grinning and turning away from him. The sub-lieutenant could've sworn he heard her laughing softly and, perplexed, raised a hand to his smooth face. Why would such a thing be important in this situation? And why was Elis acting so suspiciously?

"Come on now!" Martis' thoughts were interrupted by the noblewoman. Elis was gesturing to him over her shoulder. "We don't have all of the time in the world to get you ready for tonight." She looked back to make sure the black-haired sub-lieutenant was following. "Don't worry, I'm just going to do your hair and makeup, then we'll get you dressed," she added in a suddenly gentler tone that he didn't think possible of Elis.

Something was _definitely_ up, and Sub-Lieutenant Martis did not like it.

Unenthusiastically, he followed Elis. A mission was a mission and as a soldier, he had to be prepared to face any means necessary to complete it, even if it did mean unbearable pain.

_Ha, like anything Elis will do is going to hurt me,_ Martis mentally remarked.

Standing in the large, surprisingly well-decorated washroom in front of a gold-bordered mirror and finely-sculpted sink, Martis was in pain. His face stung like _hell. _The repetitive and unrelenting sharp jolts were almost as painful as being shot! The black-haired sub-lieutenant tried his hardest to bear the torment but simply couldn't keep his stoic façade.

"What are you—ow!—doing?" Martis finally burst out.

"Shaping your eyebrows," Elis replied nonchalantly.

The sub-lieutenant tried to shrink away from the noblewoman and the accursed set of tweezers. "Weren't they fine as is?"

"Do you _want_ to be recognized as a member of the Pumpkin Scissors?" Elis rebuked, plucking out another tiny hair from his eyebrow.

Martis grit his teeth. "No," he replied, "but _eyebrows?_ Are they really that important?"

"You'd be surprised. Take a look," the noblewoman directed, turning him to the mirror. He leaned in close so he wouldn't have to squint as much to see his appearance. Much to his surprise, the new shape of his brows, along with the absence of his glasses, significantly altered his facial appearance.

_Wow,_ the sub-lieutenant thought. _That really did change a lot._ "That's all you're going to do, right?" he asked hopefully.

Unfortunately, he did not receive the answer he would've desired.

"We're _far _from done," Elis said with a grin that was seemed to say _there's a lot more where that came from._ "Now, head back, time to wash your hair."

Martis sighed tiredly and reluctantly submitted to the noblewoman's command.

An exhausting half and hour later, Martis followed Elis out of the washroom feeling quite glad to be finally done with the not-so-little makeover. He wasn't sure what else Elis had done to his face after the eyebrows as she'd refused to let him turn around to take a look in the mirror. He'd gotten a glimpse or two but not enough to know what he really looked like now. The noblewoman kept distracting him before he could take it in.

By this point the sub-lieutenant was _sure_ something was up. But just was it?

"We're almost done," Elis said, "Now you just have to change into your outfit for tonight, and I'll give you a run-down on proper etiquette—"

"_WHAT?_"

The sudden shout cut the noblewoman off.

Martis stood, shoulders squared and fists clenched tight, facing Elis with disbelief plastered across his face. In front of them stood a maid, holding what the black-haired sub-lieutenant was to wear to the ball.

"I'm supposed to wear… _that_?" Martis pointed, arm shaking, at the garment.

Elis nodded with a deceivingly sweet smile. "Of course you are. It's in style and very elegant; it'll be perfect for tonight."

"But… but…" the sub-lieutenant sputtered with wide eyes.

"What's the problem?" Elis asked, her smile turning into a smirk.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a girl!" Martis finally managed to exclaim.

"Well, for tonight," the noblewoman said, taking the lilac-colored dress from the maid and holding it up in front of the flustered man, "you will be one."


	4. Chapter 4: Sweet Transvestite

**CHAPTER 4:**_ Sweet Transvestite_

Oreldo had been the luckier of the two sub-lieutenants. Solice was definitely the nicer and gentler of the lieutenant's sisters. She had done a fine job of disguising Oreldo: With his golden hair lightly curled and clad in a simple yet elegant white dress shirt and a fancy dark blue coat with embroidered golden cuffs and collar, the outfit made the laid-back, womanizing sub-lieutenant appear to be a proper noble.

"Would you wait here for a moment, Oreldo?" Solice requested. "Elis and Martis should be done any minute now. I'm going to go tell Alice you're ready."

"Sure thing," Oreldo replied sweetly, "Anything for you!" Despite Alice's warnings, he couldn't help but flirt at least a _little_… it wasn't every day he got to spend time with a beautiful noblewoman! Well, he technically _did_, now that he thought about it, but Alice was a completely different case. She was not the kind of girl you wanted to flirt with.

The sudden sound of footsteps on the stairs caught the sub-lieutenant's attention.

"No way," Oreldo exclaimed upon seeing the girl coming down the staircase, "You didn't say we were gettin' _dates _for the ball!" The womanizing sub-lieutenant put on his best smile. "She's beautiful!"

The girl's placid expression turned to disbelief instead of the expected smile. "Shut up, Oreldo," she snapped in a very familiar voice.

Oreldo's face fell. "Oh, shit."

Elis, who'd been watching from the top of the staircase, giggled.

The girl crossly tromped down the staircase with increasing anger in every step.

"Oreldo… I... I _swear _I'm going to kill you!"

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!_ Oreldo thought frantically. _That can't be—did I just think _Martis_ was beautiful? _"It wasn't my idea!" he insisted and prepared to defend himself or flee down the hallway—whichever would be quicker—from the inevitable attack from Martis. _Ah, dammit, think Oreldo! _His mind was racing. _I can't run in this getup! __I need an excuse, and a believable one!_

"It was the LT's! Her and the captain! I knew nothing about it, I swear!" Considering Alice's strange reaction when Elis had taken Martis away, it seemed like this whole thing probably was their idea. Thankfully, this response quelled his friend's rage and instead of throwing Oreldo to the ground, he stormed over to the mirror.

Martis crossly folded his arms. "I can't _believe_ I am doing this," he grumbled as he scrutinized his appearance.

For once in his life, Oreldo was at a loss for words. "Uh… me neither?" Martis looked so much like a girl it wasn't funny…

…at least for him it wasn't.

"Oh my goodness!"

Both sub-lieutenants spun around at the sound of the lieutenant's voice to see both her and the corporal entering the hall, led by Solice. Randel was covering a grin with a huge hand and Alice looked to be trying her hardest not to burst out laughing.

The lieutenant quickly composed herself, though. "Thank you for your help, Elis, Solice, they look terrific! I barely recognized them," she said, with a quick childlike grin towards Martis.

The dress-clad sub-lieutenant clenched his gloved hands into fists and resisted the strong urge to tell off his superior officer. "Uh, Lieutenant? Why do _I_ have to do this? If you needed a girl to go, why not send Stecchin?" he asked, barely able to keep his frustration suppressed. "I'm sure she'd love this kind of stuff, too!"

"The captain and I didn't think it was good idea to send the sergeant major on an undercover mission. She's not the most… subtle member of the unit," Alice responded.

Horrible memories of a certain day in the mess hall resurfaced in Martis' mind.

_It had been a long and tedious morning for Section III. Grateful for the break from work, Martis was standing in the lunch line and about to put condiments on his meal when Stecchin abruptly turned around. She began staring at him. _

"_What now?" he asked wearily. _

_The sergeant major eyed him for a moment more._

"_You're not a jerker!" Stecchin then proclaimed. Loudly._

_Just about everyone in the mess hall gasped then fell silent and all eyes fell on Martis as he stared, frozen, in terror as the sergeant major continued._

"_No sir, Mr. Martis, I bet you've never jerked anyone in your life!"_

Martis shuddered as the flashback ended. That had to have been the most embarrassing day of his military career. It seemed like this mission would be a close second, though.

"We couldn't risk her accidently blowing our cover. I have the utmost confidence that you and Sub-Lieutenant Oreldo will maintain your disguises just fine."

"But lieutenant, that still doesn't explain why I have to be a _girl!_" Martis complained.

"A couple is a perfect disguise for a ball," the lieutenant explained.

"_Couple_?" both sub-lieutenants shouted in unison.

"You mean… me… four eyes… a _couple_?" the wide-eyed Oreldo sputtered. "No freakin' way! Couldn't we have just risked having our cover blown by sendin' Stecchin instead?" Martis nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Of course not!" Alice rebuked. "Plus, if you'd have gone separately, you wouldn't be able to work together as easily. Not to mention that you may have been easier recognized as members of Section III… I'm sure not many nobles have forgotten when you drove our unit's car right into the ballroom," she pointed out.

That _had_ been quite memorable, as had been the driver and passengers of said car.

"This is just for one night, okay? I know it's embarrassing, but it's not as bad as you think, and no one will know who you are—besides us, at least. It'll be just fine," the lieutenant reassured. "The only thing you have to worry about is finding out if my fiancé is part of the Silver Wheel. That's the objective of the mission, remember? Just focus on that."

Martis sighed. "Alright…"

Despite what the lieutenant had said, Martis had a feeling that he'd be worrying a lot more about this evening besides Lionel Taylor and the Silver Wheel. He glanced at Orledo, who quickly averted his eyes. Martis could've sworn his friend was blushing, but he decided it was just his bad eyesight playing tricks on him. Or was it…?

One thing was for certain: tonight was going to be a long, long night.


	5. Chapter 5: Working Undercover ForThe Man

**CHAPTER 5: **_Working Undercover For The Man_

Time was passing much too slowly for Martis. Every moment he stood there in lady's clothing, he felt more and more embarrassed, if that was even possible. Why did _he _have to do such a humiliating thing for a military mission, anyways? He'd have to find a way to get back at the captain and lieutenant sometime, and not to mention, the lieutenant's sister Elis…

A servant at the doorway interrupted the embarrassed sub-lieutenant's thoughts of revenge.

"Lady Alice, Lord Schultz has arrived," he announced. Behind the servant stood a familiar brown-haired nobleman, accompanied by a curly-haired brunette girl of around fourteen, clad in a rose-colored dress. The two nobles bounced excitedly into the hall.

"Oh, Lady Alice! How wonderful it is to see you! You look quite beautiful today, may I add," Schultz gushed. "I pray you are doing well?"

The lieutenant resisted the urge to sigh but nodded affirmatively. "Yes, I'm doing fine." Quickly she tried to change the topic. "Are you ready for briefing for tonight's mission?"

"Why, of course! Anything for you, my wonderful Alice!" Schultz replied zealously, clasping his hands to his chest. "Oh dear, forgive me for neglecting to introduce my precious younger sister to your unit!" The nobleman gestured elegantly to the girl. "This is Lucille."

Lucille curtsied. "Hello Alice, it's lovely to see you again! And hello to your unit as well! It's an honor to meet you all," she said sweetly. "My, what a lovely dress, miss!" she exclaimed upon looking at Martis.

"Lucille, this is Sub-lieutenant Oreldo and Sub-lieutenant Martis," Alice introduced. "They'll be going to the ball with you and your brother tonight."

"My, they both look amazing! I wouldn't have even guessed that they were soldiers! Lovely, lovely!" Lucille gushed excitedly. "How long have you been together?"

Martis blushed furiously and Oreldo laughed in disbelief.

"Um, Lucille, both of the sub-lieutenants are men," the lieutenant explained.

"…so?" asked Lucille.

The Pumpkin Scissors exchanged awkward glances with one another.

"They're not a couple. Just disguised as one," Alice said after a good thirty seconds of uncomfortable silence.

"Ohh! I get it!" Lucille giggled. "_Pretending_ to be a couple." The girl smiled and looked at Martis and Oreldo in a way that rather frightened them.

Thankfully Alice distracted Lucille from the disguised sub-lieutenants by introducing Randel, who was shyly standing back from the others. "And this is Corporal Oland. He'll remain on the perimeter of the ball just in case anything bad should happen."

"Oh, he's a tall one!" Lucille exclaimed. "He looks like a regular old war hero, and not to mention, quite handsome!" The young noblewomen squealed and clasped her hands together.

Randel turned a deep shade of red and stared pleadingly at Alice for her to start the mission briefing to hush Lucille.

Alice picked up on the corporal's cue. "Right. Let's go over tonight's mission now."

"Yes ma'am!" the Schultzes shouted, both standing at attention and saluting the lieutenant like they were a part of the military, leading to a mix of sighs and stifled chuckles from the real military members present.

"First, we'll review the sub-lieutenants' identities for this evening so we're all clued in. Oreldo," Alice looked at the blond man, "your name is Percy Lovett. And Martis—" the lieutenant grinned smugly "—you are his wife, Marsha Lovett."

"_Wife?_" Martis choked. That was crazy! Did the captain and lieutenant really think this was the best way to go about this mission? Or were they just screwing around with their subordinates for fun? Martis looked disbelievingly to Oreldo.

Oreldo suddenly refused to make eye contact with his fellow sub-lieutenant.

Alice continued her explanation before Martis could object further. "Percy is my second cousin, three times removed on my grandfather's side. He and Marsha have been traveling abroad as part of their study of foreign culture and languages. They rarely make it to balls because of this, and they just so happened to be in the Empire at the time of this event."

"Lieutenant, do you actually have a cousin Percy?" Oreldo interjected.

"No, but who's going to know? Nobles usually have such large families that it's common for distant cousins to show up once in a while," Alice answered. "Now if anyone asks why I'm not at the ball, tell them I'm not feeling well and you're going in my place."

"Oh dear, Alice, you're sick?" Lucille cried out.

"No, no! It's just an excuse for me not to be there because it may be dangerous for me," the lieutenant explained.

"So you're afraid of getting even more ill?" Lucille asked.

Alice resisted the urge to face palm. "No! They know I've brought a sword to a ball before so they may try something more drastic and—ugh! Just… listen to the rest of the mission plan and we'll have questions at the end, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Lucille shouted with a dramatic salute.

Martis shook his head in frustration. This was taking far too long for his liking.

"The objective of tonight's mission is to find out if Lionel Taylor is part of the Silver Wheel. Known members of the Silver Wheel will be attending this event and we must find out as much as possible about their organization and who else may be a member. This information is vital for the relief effort and the Empire in general," the lieutenant managed to explain without interruption. "Martis and Oreldo, that will be your job for the evening."

"Yes ma'am!" the sub-lieutenants saluted.

Alice turned to the brown-haired nobleman. "Lord Schultz, I need you and your sister to support the sub-lieutenants' stories. Make sure their disguises are maintained."

Lord Schultz nodded determinedly in agreement. "Right!"

"Lucille, I need you to keep an eye on Sub-lieutenant Martis. He's going to need help with successfully keeping his disguise and you're the perfect person for this job. Do you think you can do this?" Alice asked.

"Why, of course I can!" Lucille replied joyfully. She skipped over to Martis and wrapped herself around his arm. "Oh, tonight's going to be so much fun! We're going to become the best of friends!"

"Hey, I have a mission to do, remember?" Martis tried to remind Lucille as he struggled to free himself, but to no avail. _Why me? Why? _he thought despairingly. This was going to be the worst night ever!

"And if anything is to go wrong, remember that Corporal Oland will be staying within the perimeter. Find him if the situation becomes dangerous at any time. Hey, are you even listening?" The lieutenant noticed the rest of her unit and the Schultzes weren't paying any attention whatsoever: Martis was trying to remove the squealing Lucille from his arm while Oreldo was pulling his free arm and Lord Schultz was pulling Lucille in an attempt to separate the two.

Randel looked worriedly at Alice. "Uh, lieutenant?" He brought his shoulders into a desperate shrug. "What should we do?"

Alice sighed in defeat. "Just… let them work it out. They'll have to deal with each other all night so they'd better get used to it. Let's just hope they can pull it together and this mission goes smoothly for all of our sakes."


	6. Chapter 6: Are You Sitting Comfortably

**Author's Notes! **Hi everyone! I'm very sorry for the long wait in-between chapters. I've had a bit of writer's block. Thank you very much for the reviews and favorites! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**CHAPTER 6: **_Are You Sitting Comfortably_

"Uh… I think we should have gotten a bigger carriage… or a second one…" Lord Schultz said ponderingly.

"You _think_?" the nearly-squashed Oreldo retorted.

Randel's size hadn't been put into consideration when the Schultzes had chosen a carriage for the evening. Somehow, they'd managed to cram him in along with the Schultz siblings and the two sub-lieutenants but in no way, shape, or form was it comfortable. Lord Schultz, Martis, and Oreldo all were crammed onto one side while Randel and Lucille took the other. The young noblewoman was practically attached to the corporal's arm.

"Oh, Corporal! You're simply an incredible man! You must tell me more about yourself!" Lucille gushed, tightly hugging Randel's arm

"Uh… I like… cats?" the very flustered Randel replied.

Lucille squealed. "Awww! That is so adorable! I happen to have a cat myself! She's a purebred white Persian with the softest fur you could ever imagine! She's quite lovely. Her name is Miss Radiance Chantilly Beatrice Felicity…"

Oreldo sighed in frustration. "Are we there yet?" Much to his chagrin, Martis was practically sitting in his lap. It didn't help the matter that the black-haired sub-lieutenant made one hell of a convincing woman, nor did the fact that his dress was quite puffy. There was hardly any room to breathe.

"Almost!" Lord Schultz replied cheerily. Somehow, the duke wasn't at all upset by being sandwiched between Oreldo and the side of the carriage. "Oh, I'm so excited for tonight! I can't believe I'll be helping the military with such an important mission!"

"Me neither! Who would've thought we'd be involved with such an adventure?" Lucille exclaimed. "And not to mention, working with such handsome military men like the corporal!" The young noblewoman tightened her grip on Randel's arm. "Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely!"

Oreldo smirked at Randel. "Looks like Alice's got some competition now, eh, big guy?"

"Oreldo!" Martis scolded, shaking his head.

The giant corporal turned a deep shade of red. He looked utterly scared.

The carriage suddenly came to a halt, sending Martis flying out of his seat (or lack thereof).

Oreldo's reflexes kicked in. Without thinking, he quickly reached out and wrapped his arms around Martis' waist to catch him before he could fall.

"Gotcha!" the blonde sub-lieutenant declared. Then his face fell when he realized he was holding the other sub-lieutenant in what could only be described as an embrace. An awkward one, but still an embrace. "Oh, wait…"

Lucille giggled.

"Um… thanks," Martis managed to stammer. He'd completely flushed.

Oreldo nodded frantically and released his hold. "Uh, yeah, you're welcome."

The door to the carriage was opened by the stagecoach driver. Randel looked at his superior officers for any last instruction. Instead, they were refusing to make eye contact with one another.

"Well, uh, this looks like where I get off. Good luck with your mission," the corporal said, glancing from sub-lieutenant to sub-lieutenant. He gently removed Lucille from his arm and exited the carriage.

"Goodbye, Corporal darling! Stay safe!" Lucille called after Randel. "Oh, I can't wait to see him again! He's so lovely," the noblewoman said with a dreamy look in her eyes. She then turned to Oreldo and Martis and her expression changed to the frightening one from earlier. Martis managed to flush even more upon seeing Lucille's face. There was something so unsettling about that look…

Without Randel, the carriage seemed twice as big. Lord Schultz moved to the opposite side to sit next to his sister, leaving the sub-lieutenants sitting next to each other. They tried to sit as far away from each other as possible, staring pointedly out the windows.

"Don't worry, it's not at all far now. We'll be there in no time!" Schultz said happily. "But you do know that you two are going to have to look at each other to make your disguises at all believable," he added upon noticing Oreldo and Martis still refusing to make eye contact or to acknowledge each other's existence.

Martis came to his senses first. He smoothed his ruffled dress with a sigh. "He's right, Oreldo. We can't blow this mission just because we're embarrassed by the circumstances."

Oreldo reluctantly turned to his friend. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll put up with this for one night, just _one_," he said, stressing the last word. "We're never gonna accept another mission from the captain 'til we know every last detail!" The blond sub-lieutenant crossed his arms with a sour look on his face. "I'm so holdin' a grudge against him and the LT."

"Now, now, this is no time to get upset with your superiors. Perhaps we should practice your introductions for the ball?" Lord Schultz suggested.

"Yes, that's a splendid idea!" Lucille chimed in. "Mr. Oreldo, how about you start? Pretend I'm a noble you've never met." The noblewoman's voice dropped to a comical imitation of a man. "Hello, I believe we haven't yet met."

Oreldo looked questioningly at Martis. "What do I say?" he whispered.

The other sub-lieutenant huffed. "Introduce yourself!"

"Oh, right! I'm Orel—er, Percy. Percy Lovett."

Martis covered his face in dispair. "This mission's doomed," he muttered.

"And this is my uh…. _wife_, Marsha," Oreldo continued. "Yeah. Wife. We're uh, married…" he trailed off, looking troubled.

"Well, that's a start. With a little more confidence, you'll be just fine!" Lucille said encouragingly. "Now Mister—or should I say miss?" She paused to giggle. "Martis, why don't you try?"

"I'm afraid there isn't time," Lord Schultz cut in. "We're just about there! I can see the manor!" He joyfully gestured at the elegant building that could now be seen through the window.

"Hooray!" Lucille cheered gleefully.

"Oh shit," Oreldo breathed.

Martis felt more terrified than the day Section III went to Lieutenant Webner's garage to see how her unit was doing with figuring out the auto-loader mechanism in Viscount Wolkins' tank. Section I's vehicle had been hijacked and he saw firsthand the horrific effect of Randel's lantern. Seeing the corporal with the empty look in his eyes, firing the Door Knocker at point-blank range at the unfortunate operators of the tank with the smell of smoke and blood burning his nostrils would be a walk in the park compared to this!

He took a deep breath and prepared himself for what would be the longest—and most embarrassing—night of his life.


End file.
